Sunday, October 14, 2012

Making Things Happen

At this very moment, I'm challenged to make more of myself. To crush my fears. To live more boldly. To live a life that fires me up.

I live in a world of distraction. I'm learning that in the world I live in today, the amount of distractions is out of control at any given moment. There is a reason I feel like I cannot pay attention to anything for more than fifteen minutes, it's because I don't have to.

Read one half of a post, feel inspired, write something down, open a new blog, read five blog posts, check into Facebook, look at Instagram, check Skype, Skype for an hour, eat dinner, check Facebook, stress about homework, try to do homework, get distracted, and the cycle continues every single day.

This cycle isn't just going to stop one day. Nope. It will keep going as long as I let it. It keeps going because I do not say NO to it. I say YES to the temptation of Instagram, Skype, Facebook, iPhone, GoogleReader. The sad part is that list goes on and on. It's so much more than just that.

I want to be intentional with my time. With what I accomplish and the work I accomplish.

If I spent two hours working on a project, but was distracted, could I have produced better quality work in one hour with no distractions?

When is the last time I worked without any distractions?

This week I want to do homework a little differently. I want to spend less time on my iPhone and purposefully leave it in another room. I want to limit myself to thirty minutes of GoogleReader after school. I want to challenge myself to do homework without distraction, then reach out for help.

This week I will work intentionally on my homework without distraction.
This week I will check Facebook twice a day.
This week I will take Twitter off my iPhone.
This week I will check Twitter twice a day.
This week I will check Instagram at lunch and twice after school.
This week I will be more intentional with my time.
This week I will spend thirty minutes on GoogleReader after school.
This week I will spend quiet time with God every day.

What are you going to do this week?

Saturday, October 6, 2012

A Bad Seed

This morning was a hard morning for my family. It pointed out all the icky divorce-causing-lack-of-communication-problems we have. It was a tear filled morning. It was beyond frustrating after such a peaceful streak, one filled with new communication. We were being patient with ourselves and being patient with each other. It was everything I'd been praying for and a bit more.

This weekend my brother came home from boarding school, and with our whole family back "together" again, I think the flaws came out. The transition back was hard. Old habits that we're trying to break were back. Sleep got mixed up, food wasn't constant like it is at Brown Hall. Looking back there were many flaws, little fractures that built up to the huge crumble we had this morning. Oh my, was this morning rough.

Being in this situation, in our situation, is hard on me. It challenges me and causes me to be bent and twisted in ways I never, ever ould have imagined. Ever. Finding perspective in the middle of it is hard, hard stuff. Our instinct is to hold on to the anger, to the hurt and to the tears. They overhaul ourselves and we become negative, hurt, confused shells. My family becomes one that I don't recognize, but these days happen and history has shown that when you're at the lowest of lows, the only place left to go is up. And this afternoon, we're trying to go up.

It's a process. It's not immediate. We're still wallowing in the pit for a bit, letting the suffering go on, even if we don't want it to. Because the reality of life is that we live in a fallen world, the suffering is bound to happen and the pain doesn't always go away as quickly as we'd like. I prayed like mad as this was going on, that both sides would just act in love instead of so much hurt. God's grace allowed me to forgive quicker than any other family member in this situation. Forgiveness. C.S. Lewis's quote was running through my head and I knew that every word of it was nothing but true.

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”-C.S. Lewis

I quickly felt the presence of the Lord as my prayers were heard, not answered but heard. Someone was listening to me and my side of the situation, even if no one in my family was responding the way I wanted them to. Instead of texting a friend to pray, I prayed powerfully myself. I knew throughout the whole event, that my only value, my only stronghold, is the Lord (Ephesians 2:20). The only one that I can depend on always as my constant is Christ. A challenging idea for the world today and one I still am working on. Understanding that God is always there? Got it. Understanding that everything could fall away and crumble, I could be without everything I've ever known an He'd be there? Not so much. But I work on and build on my relationship with the Lord every single day. I'm so excited to know where He'll take me. That He will provide me with everything I'll ever need, even if I don't always believe it. God's grace and mercy triumphs, y'all. Let's live lives that show we believe it.

Monday, October 1, 2012

A Start to 31 Days

I feel motivated to write my own 31-day series this month. I hope it will be something I realize the value in because I know the good that can come from it. When I blogged everyday for a month on my personal blog, it blessed me so much. And now being able to look back on it? I'm much more thankful.

I hope to take this time to write, if only for five minutes, about what matters to me. Realize that in this world full of false promises, idols and ideas I can focus on what will bring me joy. Refocus for five minutes by just writing whatever comes to mind to help clear my head. God has been on my heart to spend time with Him more and more, something I'm failing at. I'm a better person when the Word is in my heart every single day. I'm starting a new Bible study tonight by Beth Moore and we're studying the book of James. I'm so excited.

Bible Study fires me up. I love it. I hope to be able to post every day this month and be able to look back and find something that puts a smile on my face. A month of encouraging-fire-you-up-focusing-on-what-matters-posts! Can someone sign me up for the Making Things Happen conference because I think I'm ready!

Have a great night everyone! See you tomorrow.

Patient endurance is what you need now, so taht you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that He has promised. 
Hebrews 10:36