Life is full of challenges, hills and valleys. With divorced parents I find myself in many a valleys. One too many for my personal taste, but things are what they are.
Through these challenges it is never easy to find the positive and I haven't found a way yet. Usually at the peak is when I'm screaming and struggling asking, "Why me, God? Why me?" But it is truly remarkable that after this moment of lowest of lows, it can't get any worse I find myself seeing a new perspective.
It isn't always one of understanding, but it's one of recognition. That these events that are placed in my life are there to shape me. I don't know the answer to what causes negative events in our lives, but I do know that God is sovereign over all of it and has the final word in the end. The "why" is still not answered but I feel more confident in getting a little closer to understanding.
I know that these events have made me who I am. That if my mom didn't have MS and if my dad had not had cancer I would not be the person I am sitting here typing these words today. That if my parents would have stayed married I would be different, my surroundings and circumstances would also be different as well. As hard as these times may be, I know that I cannot change any of it myself so I might as well learn to adapt. Or at least try to adapt...there is a lot of room for some grace in-between!
I am currently doing Beth Moore's study, Stepping Up through the Psalms of Ascent and it is blessing me so. I loved the women I was able to do the Bible Study with but now that school is coming back this week I won't be able to attend anymore. I'm excited that I can still continue the study on my own! Her words could bless anyone and she has such a heart for the Lord, her words help me understand His more every time I sit down to do the study.
On the Living Proof Ministries' blog she posted a quick video of her ministering to all the ladies watching and reading that day. I didn't catch it when it was live but you can bet I watched it when I was able to! I loved it and was just what I needed in that moment, and ample preparation for the night to come.
I wrote down, "I would rather be marvelously helped than strong" and it hit me hard. We don't need to be strong, because He is. We don't need to be perfect, because He is. We can love everyone because of His love. I love it. I love Beth and her passion for Jesus. It inspires me and blesses me every second I get. I pray that as you go through your weekend and get back into the rhythm of school time you find yourself marvelously helped instead of strong. I hope you know that this is a choice and I pray that you'll make the one that blesses you most. I know that I'm waiting for the day for someone to ask me, "how are you?" and for me to respond "marvelously helped." All in due time!
Have a lovely weekend!
And he built structures on the walls of Jerusalem, designed by experts to protect those who shot arrows and hurled large stones from the towers and the corners of the wall. His fame spread far and wide, for the LORD gave him marvelous help, and he became very powerful.
2 Chronicles 26:15