Monday, February 27, 2012

Frustrated.

Life has been crazy lately and I apologize for not posting. I can't seem to find time to come up for air, Junior year is no joke. The first day of tennis was today and at this point I don't see myself lasting until the end of the week. I'm overwhelmed. So overwhelmed that I am "frozen" and don't know what to do. I just sit at my desk and look at twitter, facebook, etc. so there is something to keep school off of my mind. I don't know how to balance it all.

School is hard. Tennis is rough. Nothing is turning out how I want it to be. I also don't see the point of sticking around and keeping up with tennis for the purpose of putting it on my college application. Isn't it supposed to be more than that? Pure Barre is a recent new find of mine and I am loving it so much. I have a blast working out, which for me and my asthma is a totally new concept. I'm dying to just go and do the classes three days a week, become more involved volunteering and ditch tennis.

I hope that through this I can figure out what I want. To not play tennis for the purpose of putting it on an application, but rather be able to go to a college and tell them who I am and why everything is there on my application. I want to be happy with what I decide to do and I don't think tennis will do that for me. I don't know what to do. I'm so stressed I don't see myself making it through tonight, let alone practice tomorrow or Wednesday. Hopefully a good nights sleep will help me sort some of this out, because at this point I'm lost and confused.

4 comments:

  1. I feel exactly the same way! I quit lacrosse this fall, and there is no way I would ever be able to go to school tomorrow if I knew I had to go play tomorrow afternoon. It was a hard decision to make at the time, but the experiences I've had in yoga and volunteering have made it worth it. Hope your week gets better! XOXO

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  2. Thank you! After talking it out and venting to anyone who would listen dropping tennis was definitely the right choice for me. The stress it was causing me today alone was a big red flag! Thanks for your sweet note!

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  3. I know where you're coming from. Junior year was incredibly challenging. Just remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Do what you think is best for you because your passions will show themselves on your college application. Good luck with everything! If you need me you know how to reach me :] And your family is in my prayers :]

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    1. Thank you so much Emily, I truly appreciate the prayers and kind wishes!

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