Monday, November 7, 2011

Balance

Being a student at a challenging high school can be insanely stressful and difficult at times. It is hard for me to visual a bigger picture, one that includes more than the quiz in Biology that I may have tomorrow. Stress has been something that I have been trying to get rid of, I have had way too much of it in my system for way too long. It was something that was self inflicted and if I was to continue, it would have ended badly. The stress was no longer a motivator and was taking over my life. Never let stress become a motivator.

This is my junior year of high school, the one that is more important than all the rest. How I do this year will effect much more than it ever has before. It's a lot to think of and a lot to be concerned about. Since middle school I would stress and that would help me get things done. The assignment would always get done, even if I had to stay up until midnight or later to finish it. This year, sleep comes as a priority, since I find myself absolutely exhausted if I don't get enough sleep, which only becomes more of a hindrance later in the week. Decreasing the time that I can do with as I please, since I chose to spend more of that time sleeping, I have to be careful with the time that I have. This year, I have decided not to waste my time crying over a quiz that I'm not ready for and sit down and study for it instead. What needs to get done will be done, because school is my priority.
[Photographed by MAT | Vashon Island Farmer's Market]
Junior year requires many to put their priorities in focus and decide what truly is important to them. School has been a priority for me since 6th grade, when I first received grades, and will continue to be until I have graduated. Classmates may not have this same priority and may want to spend their time doing something else, but time spent on school will never be a waste because it is a priority for me. It's hard to find balance when a priority, such as schoolwork, requires so much time. It requires more than just time; it involves emotion, effort and begins to define who you are. I began to lose sight of what I enjoyed and turned 100% of my attention to my schoolwork. Some may say this is admirable, but I say it is silly. I lost motivation and am still struggling to get it back. 

Through this process, I found that my hobby of photography, is something that I need to spend time on. It fills me with happiness and joy that no 100% on an assignment could ever do. Baking is an activity that used to be stressful, but as I have began to worry less, I found that baking is something that I do need to make time for. It's something personal that makes me happy, something I do for myself that I can share with others. I love it. Blogging comes into play here too, I love it too. I love sharing, recording and remembering my life at different times and stages. It can encompass other passions of mine, such as photography and baking which I thoroughly enjoy. I admire the relationships and communities that we build from our blogs. I hope my little corner of the Internet can become a place of joy, happiness and community as the months and years go on. Blogging is much more than just maintaining a blog for me, it means much more. This hobby makes me happy, it doesn't matter to me that my friends may think it's weird, t makes me happy and life is too short to not be sad because you aren't being true to yourself.
[Photography by MAT | Vashon Island Farmer's Market]
This school year, I am challenging myself to find balance with my priorities and doing what I love to do. I will let the way I use my time reflect that, then I can happily go on weekend adventures with friends, spend my day baking and do well in school, while maintaining balance. It will not be easy and it will be a constant struggle, but there is something to be said about being aware of what is important to you. Then you begin to live the life that you want to live, not the one that is just passing you by.

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